AIR Edition #4

Dolly Parton Bobblehead night!

Ok I am going to start with an apology to all of you who love Country music.
No, can’t do it…I am not, BLECK!  I will say however, that it was no
surprise to me to see/hear everyone of the idols (sans KLCook) steer clear
from the ‘twang’.  All just trying to climb back into their individual
elements.

Dolly Night – Ok, anyone else wonder how old this woman actually is?  I mean
she has to be 65 (editors note: 62) and somehow has maintained that same Dolly look.  Wink
Wink.  My favorite thing about Dolly last night… No, Kevin it wasn’t
those!  Oh wait we forgot to give a HooYah! Out to Kevin our latest AIR
subscriber.  Thank you to Kevin I was beginning to feel closer to my
feminine side.  Welcome Kevin!  So anyway, favorite Dolly moment was her
statement to KL, “I think her Momma is going to be real proud of her
singing.”  Bwahaha! Classic.

Here we go…First, we need to pause for a moment of silence for the little
girl who was lost in Salt Lake City featured across Idol last night.  They
found her this morning unfortunately and are questioning 5 men in her
possible homicide (at press time – which pretty much ran all day as you can
tell).  Our hearts and prayers go out to her family at this time.

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That was kind of a downer and I mean it with all due respect.  I don’t mean
to bring any disrespect to the situation.

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Nice intro by Ryan with the April Fools Joke.  Totally lame.  I could almost
hear the crickets chirping.  And you all thought I tell bad jokes?  He
actually had my wife audibly say “Uh?”  Simon had some very intriguing
things to say, Paula her usual flim flam self and Randy the big dog…well
he was typical Randy.  Rather than bore you with restating what the 3-some
said, I work some of my own magic.

Let’s get to it… First one out… Brooke!  Now come awn – if you don’t
like her voice you have something wrong with you.  She is definitely
buyable!  Is she polished? No, but she is a workable talent and I think she
is two words,  phe-nomenal.  She is still the best female vocalist – however
last night I made the submission that I think she will have a hard time
stopping the Boy momentum that is Michael, and the 2 Davids.  4th I think.
Wasn’t her best.  She needs to quit being so eager to please the judges.

Speaking of a David.  I have to tell you that I love David Archuleta.  His
mannerisms totally remind me of my #2 son Ethan.  The way he smiles, his
lips, his giggles even his facial expressions.  So when anyone on the
internet bashes him as they do, I have a hard time separating David and my
Ethan.  Silly huh?  Ok so David freakin kicked trash.  He spanked it really
good.  I think Dolly said he can be a fantastic singer.  Go David Go!  He
didn’t lick his lips at all.  I am wondering if he is secretly getting my
AIR forwarded to him.  Hehe

Carly provided the funniest moment of the show to me last night, thanks to
Simon Cowell.  I cannot believe how he destroyed her clothes.  Amazingly
funny.  You have to admit that she doesn’t look like real ‘nice’.  I know I
know before I go sticking my foot in my yapper, “No that dress does not make
you look fat” should be answer.  But your face does!  Hahaha  Awesome.  I
predict that America is a little tired of Carly and she will find herself in
the bottom 3 tonight.

David Cook.  Congratulations!  Your haircut makes you about 1 gozillion
times easier to look at.  The ’skull’ continues to blow (trademarked).  I
regretfully admit that he is the one to beat right now.  Not that I don’t
think he is deserving, don’t get me wrong, he is.  Did he shave the little
flava save thing too?  Did anyone notice?  It is a good year to be named
David I think.  He later had heart palpitations and went to a hospital for
stress?  Serious.

Ramielle – I said it once I said it twice I said it thrice…all outta
‘cute’.  She is in Simon’s words – ‘forgettable’ – Sorry.  She doesn’t have
what it takes to be a star.  Shes cute but – this aint no cute contest.  And
if it were, then I am just going to guess that Amanda Overmeyer would have
had about a snowballs chance in hell of making the top 12…. hundred!
Cute maybe in the Papa Don’t Preach Madonna video in the 80’s but not Idol -
lands her in the bottom 3.

Jason…I don’t know how to describe my feelings for him.  My wife likes
him.  But let me put that into a little perspective…She liked Ace a couple
of years ago too.  And after ‘Father Figure’ I just couldn’t figure (get
it?) him out at all.  Jason nailed ‘Hallelujah’ but hasn’t really climbed
out of the Predator Travolta Mall singer that I see every time he takes the
mic.

Kristy Lee – ok so she squeeked by to Country week and yeah I am going
against my usual weekly rant of hatred towards her.  It was her week and she
will comfortably not be in the bottom 3…yet again.  She got extremely
lucky this wasn’t a U2 song week.  I hope her Momma was proud of the way she
sang.  Crap… I just realized that I have to hear her ..again next week.
Kristy enjoy your Top 8 finish.

Syesha – She completes the trifecta this week.  Triple Chick night in the
bottom 3 stools.  If there is one thing that I have learned by watching this
show religiously for the last 3 years, it is this:  Don’t ATTEMPT to sing a
song sung by these 3 divas….Mariah Carey, Celine Dion or Whitney Houston.
And if you do, you must be stupid stupid stupid. (Extra treat for the 1st
subscriber who figures that movie line out)

Michael – I am going to pat myself on the back a little for this nugget of
wisdom.  This guy has comfortably and sneakily flown under the radar and is
now peaking.  This will push him to the final 3.  Very smart of Michael to
hang back a little and get better and better.  You know what I am talking
about… Save some in the tank for an Unforgettable performance late in the
show.  Of course if you are KL Cook – you don’t have any left in that tank.
Sorry I couldn’t resist.

Parting words and thoughts.  Syesha, Ramielle and Carly – with Syesha biting
the bullet tonight.  The reason I say this is that Ramielle hasn’t even been
in the lower 3 once this year.  Her first appearance can’t possibly be her
ONLY can’t it?  Crazy year with vote-offs though so anything could happen.
Here is something to think about, when a contestant is nuked – the very next
week, where do the people who voted for them go?  What is the vote
distribution?  In case you missed last week, Chikezie was voted off.  So
where do his voters lean?  In you think I’m crazy, just noodle this.  2
weeks ago, Carly is in the bottom 2.  The next week after Amanda Overmeyer
got voted off, I predict that all of the rocker tat laden teens switched
their votes from Amanda to Carly thus preventing her from a return to the
bottom 3 last week.  Just did some thinkin…and yeah it hurt. 

I am freakin 0-3 in predictions so don’t worry when Syesha isn’t the one to
say gbye tonight.

In the immortal words of the Terminator….. “I’ll be back!”

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