AIR Edition #8

Curtain opens, music plays dun nu nu dun…, out steps Ryan Seafoam who promptly introduces this as “The night of 2’s”. Let’s see Ryan…, 2 phone #’s to call, 2 songs for each idoler to sing and 2 major live bloopers for Paula!!! Well maybe just one Huge one that feels like two! Well not to be outdone… for me, 2 completely WRONG AIR pre-show predictions for each contestant! DOH! I had two chances and whodathunk I would botch both of them??? Yeah of course you did.

Neil Diamond week…I have been asked if I became a fan after listening to all of his albums…the survey says… Bzzzzz! Sorry Meg.

Did anyone notice how ‘crammed’ last nights show seemed to be? Hurry up Hurry up Hurry up. Each contestant sang two songs and the judges would NOT be commenting until after they sang the second song. This is a key point in last nights show as those who missed it need to know…Whammy! leads me to conspiracy theory #104, read on….So 2 songs, means I have 2wice as much AIR tonight so here we go…

Camera pans the audience and Hey! there’s Rita Wilson…Tom Hanks’ wife. For those who don’t know who Rita is, except oh yeah “that one lady, on that one show” you just can’t seem to remember. Sleepless in Seattle and Jingle All the Way are two of my faves.

Judges, blah blah Randy – Yo whatup? And Paula Abdul goes strapless for the 3rd straight week. Let’s hope she can keep those puppies off the stage. And of course Mr. Cowell who needs no introduction.

Out come the idols and first impressions are, “Oh no David Cook’s hair sucks,… again! Syesha and the extensions, Brooke wearing a puffy shirt from Seinfeld, David A. looks like an inmate and Jason … Well he just hasn’t yet quite figured out where Fraggle rock is, has he?

Neil Diamond is THE “Model of Longevity”…says Ryan Seashore. It may just be me, but haven’t all the mentors (except Mariah) been over the hill and twice as dusty this year?

Jason Castro’s first song! ‘Forever in Blue Jeans’ – he is so flipping DUMB! While practicing with Mr. Diamond, Jason begins to play his first choice of song and sings the lyrics to his second song? My oh my. But he is the King of expressions isn’t he? I thought I could make some good faces but this kid is good. Anyone notice the violin player with the sunglasses on??? Almost as cool as the violinist in the Dave Matthews Band, almost. Jason was his typical lost self with a lost performance and he didn’t do himself any favors with either of his songs. Paula says she loves his lower (ca$h) register??? and then promptly chastens him for his second song – get this – EVEN tho he hasn’t sung it yet??? Screeeeech!

Oh boy. Time out for this thought. At the end of Round 1, Judges speak out. Is this show scripted? Probably not. Did the producers script Paula because they knew she could not critique in the allotted time? Heckyeah!
What a huuuge train wreck! Once again Miss Abdul, in true Laker girl form, blows it bigtime! If you noticed it caught everyone off guard. Ryan Seafarer peeked over at the producers for a clue of what to do next. Simon though comes to the rescue and just rips all of the contestants a new one. The show must go on!

David Cook – Stupid, stupid hair. Hey David! Angus Young called and wants his coat back! AC – DC? DC meaning David Cook how original is that? Come on skull baby! Once again he chose songs that noone has heard of (smartly) so he couldn’t be compared. His 2 chord strum of the guitar action was pathetic. I’m alive??? You are alive and Yeah yeah, dumb.

Brooke Brooke Brooke…. I’m a believer??? This has got to be the worst all time choice of songs on the show. I like you Brooke but, I am just plain NOT, a believer!…. Ok, fun song for a little movement and dancing and (what in the world was Paula doing?… dancing?) One small problem though Brooke,…you can’t move or dance! Oops! Your two left feet forgot to tell ya. Even Willard from Footloose could dance better than you!

David A. takes on the two BIGGEST songs sung by Neil????? Open your eyes Davey!!! He did look like he had more fun though – but he sung like he is the lead singer in a very little known Utah based karaoke group named Osmond 2ndG! Just kidding. As Paula would say, he can sing the phonebook, or was that Randy, or ? anyway…David is money.

Syesha. Oh my hair. How many of you wondered what Sanjaya, er, I mean Syesha’s Hair would look like? ME! Raising hand high. Not digging those extensions one bit. Oh and uh, what is with the flat nappy bare feet? Further demonstrating her lack of any class or professionalism. She sang “Hello” and all I found myself wanting to say was, GOOD FREAKIN BYE! What the heck…Syesha? Where are your shoes? Cover up those dawgs!!! Ewwwww! Wasn’t impressive and very forgetful. Of all the contestants – she is the theme park singer!

Back to conspiracy theory #104. Did Paula really just write down song #2 for Jason Castro BEFORE he actually sung it and that is what she was scripted to say after? Or did she think David Cooks number was just blah? I think she was reading what the producers wrote for her! Jason can’t freaking HOLD the last note. Listen to his stupid endings….. Jason in the Death Slot? Hmmmm. Oh and Mary Ann – he was sitting in his familiar one legged stool spot. hehe And it is his turn to go.

David Cook #2 All I really need is you. He closes his eyes more than David A. Where is the The Dark Lord Of the Webber when you need him? I think he closes them because of his stupid hair. Skull baby needs you to vote for him. Close your eyes America (he is so hard to look at) and vote. Paula is so proud of you. Bow now David to Simon’s “brilliant” comment, and kiss your hands and mouth ‘thank you’. Leaves me wondering who he ’stole’ this arrangement from???

Brooke – Not a fan of what she chose to wear tonight. She is such much better behind the piano. I said it once before, if this season allowed no instruments, she would be nowhere near the top 5. I like her little lip up twist thing she does. Its kinda cute. She got good marks from the judges for song numero dos. The judges once again copied my thoughts, hehe. I will say this, she must have rec’d the note from me, telling her, urging her, to be more confident….she was. Go Brooke!

David A. They coming to America…I thought for sure that the only contestant who would dare sing this would have been Country Barbie (Kristy Lee). But wouldn’t you know it – he ‘bombed it’ or ‘ticked all the boxes’ with it. How does he do that?

Syesha #2 Thank the Lord for the Nightime”. Where the crud are your shoes? Have I just missed this in past episodes? Why do we want to see those flat unattractive feet? She attempted to spice the numbers up with her gospel rendition…but it was so…eh! For me. They are so wanting her to climb on. Judges/Producers want… need some ‘diversity’ in the Final Four.

Calculated guesses have her in the bottom 2 along with Fraggle Rock and in the end, I see Jason returning to his beloved Fraggles.

Hasta Lasagna, Don’t get any on ya! – Mission Impossible

Explore posts in the same categories: Uncategorized