AIR Edition #6

7 Million Subscribers…. This is (dramatic pause) Andy’s Idol Recap!

Ok, ok, so I think each of you are at least worth a million dollars so I
exaggerated a little bit, sue me!…. Bwahaha! No new
subscribers this week to hail. You guys aren’t doing your job…you gotta
get me some more subscribers or my sponsors are going to get a little antsy.
They may pull my contract and who would want that???

When they announced last night who the mentor was, I immediately thought
“Uh-oh here we go, Randy spending half of his allotted criticism time
talking about his days of hangin out Mariah, Whee!

So enters the Diva herself, Mariah Carey comes out to meet and greet the
idols and tailing her (pun intended), is a scruffy lil whelp of a dog named
“JJ”, who she promptly commands to “Sit!” The camera editors did a great
job of deleting what happened next. I’ll fill you in. JJ does not sit and
Mariah yanks the leash in an attempt to force her will on poor JJ. Disgusted
she violently causes JJ to whimper and squeal loudly. Just when it appeared
as though JJ was going to escape his evil captor, Mariah the Hutt pushes a
secret button hidden on the baby grand piano, opening a hole in the floor

under JJ’s little paws, sending poor JJ to his most certain death at the

hands of the Rancor. (Return of the Jedi)
Seriously – Did you see the dog in any other of the clips???
Me either.

I gotta tell you the smaller number of contestants left the longer these
editions seem to become and the more your friendly neighborhood AIR writer
notices silly things like – um, wardrobe. So this edition may tend to lean
to Andy’s side of ‘Metro’. Forgive me now.

First Andy statement of the night before the first note is sung: It is a
foregone conclusion that the bottom 3 will be all girlies!

Randy starts the episode by saying that he is looking for identity. Who are
you? Paula is just looking for a refill on her Rum in her pretend ‘Water’
cup. Simon is going to have about 3 different key statements that he and
the producers have already scripted that he must say to ’save some
contestants and throw others under the proverbial bus. Just keep score… 3
I say.

So Archie, as he is affectionately referred to in some internet circles gets
placed into the ‘Death Slot”. Andy’s Conspiracy theory #102: The last 3
weeks folks, the first singer has gone Bye Bye. Get out yer Tivos and check
my noodle. Can David break the curse of the First?

David A – First off, what is with the black leather pants??? Not really
into that look bud. Careful or the Queer Eye Guy will be watching…you!
Mariah says, “ohhh, Lil Dave he is a very polished singer and I liked him.”
Tells him to try and pull off a Marah-esque falsetto. OK I have to say I
would love to hear David sing Peter Brady’s classic, “Its time to change!”
Those old enough to remember the Brady Bunch episode where Peters voice
changes (puberty for you slow wits). Hehe Hmmmm is that a death blow? But
guess what? Yeah he pulled it off and didn’t sound like Peter which begs the
question, Do you think that David has uh…nevermind. The song he chose was
from the Dreamworks cartoon Moses movie, Prince of Egypt. Funny Simon
would’ve bet 1 million dollars he would choose it. Time out: David advice,
Don’t get in the “Everyone knows what you are going to do next” rut, its a
huge yawner for America and like Daughtry, could spell trouble.
Side Note: Is it me or does his Dad get cooler by each episode? He now is
sporting a Rodney Dangerfield golf beret hat. David cracks the code on the
“Death Slot” and cruises on. Simon and Producers script #2 which came later
in the competition when he said “Everyone is chasing David Archuleta
tonight.”

Carly comes up..and we see her bug-eyed banshee screaming and her furrowed
brow. “Without you” is the song she chose. The song was originally
written and sung by a band called Badfinger. Badfinger? Did a little
internet search to find out about this band and boy did they have some
serious woes. 2 of the bandmates whacked themselves, suicide. Lots of doom
and gloom. I think Carly has chosen poorly. After her performance she was
basically given Simon’s bad finger. HA! Ok so I gotta say, “Nice dress!” -
and for all of you (like me) who wanted to see her NOT sporting the tatoo
(Thank the maker for long sleeves!!). She did look good but I am concerned
that the end of the Irish line is tonight. One thing they didn’t show was a
pic of her tatto riddled beau in the crowd. Could the producers be angling
for Carly to continue?
Simon script #1 – Carly you may be in trouble with that performance.” I
think she is toast.

Syesha – When Mariah says, “I thought she was really cool.” Is that code
for um, I’m pullin for ya girl? followed by the finger pointing an audible
‘click click’. Hehe.
You know how the contestants, who the mentor or week resembles most, seem to
soar? See back issues – who would bet against Kristy Lee on Country week?
Not even an 0-5 dud like me! Yeah so, keeping with that theme, who’s genre
is the closest to Mariah? Yep Syesha. Did she have a headstart? Yep. Did
she capitalize on it? Yep think so. Will she find herself in the bottom 3?
Nope. Well I think her song and performance were ‘Just blah’. Didn’t
really do it for me. On the fashion front, I think Syesha looked like Foxy Cleopatra from Austin Powers’ Goldmember!

Brooke – she isn’t overcoming the shakiness is she? She needs to stop
interrupting the judges when they start to tell her that she stunk or needs
to work on this or that. You know I love you Brooke and I think the way she
is still surviving is that she has basically gone right out there on stage
and told people, Here is who is I am – I cry, I have a soft heart, This is
me… And I think America is liking that. Nice cardboard cutout attempt
story about her sis’s wedding. Again another human interest story that
helps the audience relate to her. Are the producers assisting her? K so, I
liked her song, it wasn’t as good as her best Love is a Battlefield numbah
but it was way better than it could’ve been had Ricky and the band jumped in
and ruined it. I still think that she lands in the bottom 3 again but is
quickly sent back to the couch. Simon #3 Where’s the Beef?

Kristy Lee – Ok Fashion opinions abound in today’s A.I.R. Didn’t her hair
look like it was out of that 70’s show? Hair aside – she is still just
stiff and doesn’t really get me to do anything but squint. When I squint
she just gets much better. She continues to own the Fave quote of the night
though! “Yeah I gave Mariah goose bumps!” Bwahaha. She may have given them
to Mariah but I was like Simon, no goose bumps felt here… Only Ugh! Its
time for Country Barbie to go home and ride horses with Country Ken on the
Ranch. But alas, she will be safe from the final vote. I mean how many
lives does this girl have? I am beginning to believe she is a cat and by my
count she has used up about 6 of those nine lives.

David C – I am so sorry and I am going to ask Randy to sit his fat ole
butt back down on his chair. I had one word for Mr Cook’s song. Yuck! The
judges loved it. I didn’t. I know I know – Boo me! I am so sick of his
stupid little ‘prayers of thanks, kiss of his clasped hands and close his
eyes to the judges while mouthing thank you’. To top it all off, he pushed
for some votes from (I will affectionately refer to them as) Brooke’s Boobs.
His eyes actually started to mist! Oh come now! If you were the true
rocker that you claim to be, what would fellow rockers think of that action?
You think Daughtry ever cries? COME AWN Misty Eyed Skull Baby! Yeah so is
he safe? Um heck yeah, he is building to a final sing off with David A. I
will say again, its going to be a good year to be named David. I am 1
million percent sure that this season, season 7, will be won by a guy named
David. Simon #4 – Toot Toot Toot goes David’s horn.

Jason – As usual – Sarah liked it. Hehe. Second fave quote of the night and
it barely lost to Kristy Lee’s gem, belonged to Randy, “I thought I was at
some weird Luau and that music was playing in the background. – hahaha.
Jason I just keep trying to like you but I just can’t bring myself to doing
that. I can’t put my finger on it. Perhaps its just I know that you are
good, and that you can sing, but you aren’t going to win and therefore I
choose to not invest any thoughts/feelings in you. Jason is not the best
singer in this competition, but that doesn’t matter. He’s a real artist,
with a real identity. He does what he does, and he does it very well. And
tonight, he did “I Don’t Wanna Cry” very well indeed. He knew he couldn’t
hit the Mariah-style notes, so he didn’t even try, but he infused the song
with emotion and turned it into a lovely coffeehouse ballad. In other
words, he successfully Castro-fied it.

As if that wasn’t enough – FOX had a few minutes to cover and so Ryan turns
to Simon who promptly slam dunks it by saying, “the Boys WON tonight.”

Time for the prognosticator of prognisticates, Punxsutawney Phil, to step out and exclaim, “Hey
guys I see my shadow!” Another 4 weeks of winter. Can you believe the
weather in Salt Lake City lately? Get a sunburn one day and the very next day there is 3
inches of snow on the ground! Crazy!

One last thing to ponder, where do the people who voted Michael Johns vote?
I got my ideas and they certainly don’t help Carly at all. Soooooo

I ultimately see Carly, Brooke and Kristy Lee are bottom 3. I think it is
the demise of the Tatoo Laden Irish Pub Dweller!

Quick Disclaimer – I have been Wrong Wrong Wrong Wrong Wrong on these
predictions so 0-5 can turn to 0-6 very easily. But you know what? I am
guaranteeing a victory at some point for the AIR Predictions. Even if its
the very last edition! Bwahaha! And the winner is…. Yahoo I won!

IN the immortal words of Dorothy, “I don’t believe we are in Kansas anymore
Toto.”

AIR Edition #5

Good morning Good evening and Enjoy the show tonight.

I have found that I need to start writing this in the morning, work a little
bit on it throughout the day and make sure it is sent to you before 5 PM MDT
in order to make sure that you have read it before the… “Buh Bye” show.

It was titled ‘Inspiration Night’, where the idolers were supposed to take
on the songs that inspire and move them to music excellence. I, quite
frankly, found it one of the most bizarre nights of this season. You must
admit that it was quite odd and I’ll tell you why… Solid contenders failed
to impress, I thought one singer bombed and the judges loved him, and some
contestants hair was left with no explanation!

First off we have a new subscriber! Woo Hoo! Heather McVey. Many of you
know her as she graces the BookWise office with her presence every so often.
Infectious smile. Big dimples. I know her as the ‘Where’s my money?” girl.
Ok seriously I know that Heather is the very best trip excursion fun filled
Julie McCoy from the Love Boat cruise director ever! If you are ever able to be
anywhere but …here and Heather is there also, Stay close. The fun just
happens! Welcome Heather!

Sidenote or Andy’s Conspiracy Theory 101
The voting on American Idol behaves just like the stock market. The more
votes (volume), the more similar it is. Consider the following: The judges
would like to believe, and hope the outcome of American Idol will support
the most talented singer. It may or may not. My first point is that all of
the 8 left made the cut for a variety of reasons and everything counts.
Singing talent counts the most, but it would be naive to think that was all
that mattered. Looks count, stage presence counts, style counts, song choice
counts, smile counts, likability counts (I know.. That’s not a word), judges
comments count, singing order counts and even race counts too.

K quick comment – if this was a contest of weekly winners/losers – which it
isn’t, it is a conglomeration of past performances as well. The worst 3
last night were clearly Carly, Brooke and David Cook. With David Cook
bringing up the freakin caboose. His little number was terrifying. More on
that rant when his number is called.

Go ahead and noodle on that a little later, but let’s get to the show!

First one out to adorn the stage last night is none other than the Aussie
heart throb Michael Johns. Ooooo Michael! Sings a “wanna be” rendition of
Aerosmith’s Dream On and then proceeds to try to convince us that he picked
it cause this is America and dreams are real in America. Blah blah blah. I
haven’t seen such a blatant appeal for votes since Kristy Lee Cook sang Lee
Greenwood and you know where that got her? Yep all the anti war protestors
and military lovers added to her already garnering the “Country genre vote”.
So Michael, What gives with that faggy little scarf thing you have pulled
out of the 1950’s closet of horror? Come awn brah. Looks hinky. Oh but
wait – Paula and her ‘puppies’ just might join you on stage at any moment.
Boing!!! Are you kidding me? Sheesh – trying to keep it PG 13 here.
Really now Paula calm the dress down a little and go back to your melted
marshmallow critiques of nonsensical, “You are,… You”! Michael sails on
through to next round. Judges just said that he needs to find his song -
his bluesiness style. At least the judges who actually speak English as a
first language and don’t own a set of ‘chihuahuas’.

Carly Hennessey/Smithson/what is that lady tatoo thing on yer arm?/is that
really your husband looking like Pinhead from the Hellraiser movies?/spanks?
What the heck are ‘spanx‘??? I have to admit that she does have a good
voice, yes. And even last night I commented that if you look at her from
the neck up – she is a pretty girl. I am not knocking the weight serious
girls. That arm thing is just…too difficult to overlook. I can’t even
remember what song she sang, but it was…forgettable. Oh yeah Queen – The
Show Must Go On. How may I ask was that inspiring? She did herself no
favors. I think she has definitely landed in the bottom 3 this week.
Another contestant somewhat blasted by the judges – Simon states the
obvious, “I think you are in trouble with that performance.” Right you are!
Did anybody notice Carly’s Star Trek belt? I was looking for her
communicator… “Beam me up Scotty!”

Jason Castro the likable little mall rat. Ok this was the most confusing
performance of the night. I love the version that he copied sung by the 500
pound Hawaiian guy named Israel Wannahockaloogie shortened to just IZ.
There is nothing short about this man though. I mean if you have not seen
him… Whoa Nelly! So back to Jason. I love the version of the song, I am
not a huge fan of Jason, but I assumed that the judges would blister him!
His closing of the eyes and “Oops faces” really get me laughing. But then
when he opened his eyes and put down his ukulele…the judges Gooshed on his
performance. To me it was like watching Tiny Tim. Had they heard this song
before? They loved it? I thought it was um.. Ho-hum. Guessing what the
judges are going to say is getting tougher and tougher. Still looks like he
should be slinging a guitar around in the mall with a guitar case open in
front of him and 13 year olds swaying with lollipops in their mouths. He’s
safe.

Syesha Carrottop Mercado – Girl… what did you do with your hair??? I….
Hated it! (Two snaps down!) And are you kidding this is the same girl who
I told her that she was insane to take on Whitney last week, takes on
Fantasia this one? Come awn – Listen there is a reason that these artists
go by ONLY one name! Let me spell it out for you… They’re good! Enough
enough already – you benefitted from the Chikezie picked up voting crowd
(Please see last week’s AIR) but you will not be so lucky tonight. Bottom 3
and a seat upon the steel stool! Oh and move that little note on the yellow
paper that says “Kristy’s seat” for another week. Ugh! Can’t believe I
just wrote that.

David Cook. One word – Notblackandcan’tpulloffthatwhitecoatthingdude!
David the Michael Jackson Beat It video gang leader (you know the
one…Lionel Ritchie look alike with Ray Bans on the far left) called and wants his coat
back! Like I said earlier…in my rant against the skull, if tonight was
all that counted towards the vote off, he would be in serious heat. He
stunk. His only redeemable save was the ‘give back’ sentiment scrawled on
his palm. It was horrid and one more of those gets people to actually start
thinking this guy is human and not the most talented singer in the bunch.
He’s safe though even with his botch. Won’t even land him in the bottom 3.
Oh and is it just me, or did his hair just jump back to 2 weeks ago and try
to look like another Michael Jackson hit and look …Who’s BAD?

Kristy Lee Cook, David’s long lost sister from another mother…and father.
Hehe. Oh I am so getting tired of her doing good. This is 2 weeks in a row
and she finds herself very comfortably, dare I say, in it… another week?
Maybe by me writing that she is safe – she will finally get voted off. Its
called reverse psychology and Michael Scott (the Office) wrote the book on
that! See the office Every Thursday night at 7:00 on NBC. Kay Robotic KL
threw down another country song and surprise! Paula said it was her best
performance, ever. Imagine that? I find myself saying over and over
again…if she just had a voice, or moved better or got her audience to
believe she wasn’t riding an invisible horse everytime she takes the
stage… Or….or….

David Archuleta – Best be summed up with Simon’s attempt at nitpicking his
song choice and voice and piano and really couldn’t. How many people had
heard that song before raise your hands? Sarah, not so fast. I have and I
think he really did a better job than the original sung by Robbie Williams.
Yeah I knew that. Go google him. If any of you tough AIR subscribers out
there ask me again if he is gay, Meagen?, you will incur my wrath. Gloves
off! He is a kid and have we forgotten what pure and innocent looks like?
And to Heather (our newest groupie), he looks and acts just like my Ethan, so I am very very
defensive of this boy. So don’t bash on him cause I can’t seem to separate
his mannerisms and my Ethan’s. David did outstanding in fact on many Idol
sites is picked to win it all by 40% of those polled. Go Ethan! I mean
David.

Brooke White – Y’all know that I love Brooke by now. I think her voice is
the most buyable and if you haven’t downloaded or listened to her studio
remakes of her shortened versions of her songs you need to. Love is a
Battlefield and Let it Be are fanfreakintastic. Although here comes the hard
part. She has lost ‘the edge’ about 2 weeks ago she must’ve seen a Russian
MIG up close and then had to be guided back to aircraft carrier by Maverick
where she promptly informed bald cigar smoking captain that she nearly
orphaned her child up there today. Brooke, pick up your wings cause you can
still fly (that’s pilot speak for the slow). She sang a ‘pleasant’ but not
inspiring version of a You’ve got a Friend, but it left me wanting more.
Brooke you will land again in the bottom 3. I still think she has the best
vocals of all the girls left but I am not enamored with the pouty ‘tude
after she gets done singing. Don’t apologize to the judges. Own it! Come
back America loves you! (at least I think and well right now my opinion is
being thrown on this email canvas like Jackson Pollock.

So in wrap up… I think its an All girls night on the silver thrones of
death…with Brooke, Carly and Syesha. In the end the last two standing
center stage will be Carly/Syesha and Syesha will be going home…being
compared to someone who sang the songs she did…only better. But then
again I am wrong wrong wrong wrong – and 4 wrongs don’t make 1 right.

In the immortal words of Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men, “You want me on
that wall, you need me on that wall!”

AIR Edition #4

Dolly Parton Bobblehead night!

Ok I am going to start with an apology to all of you who love Country music.
No, can’t do it…I am not, BLECK!  I will say however, that it was no
surprise to me to see/hear everyone of the idols (sans KLCook) steer clear
from the ‘twang’.  All just trying to climb back into their individual
elements.

Dolly Night – Ok, anyone else wonder how old this woman actually is?  I mean
she has to be 65 (editors note: 62) and somehow has maintained that same Dolly look.  Wink
Wink.  My favorite thing about Dolly last night… No, Kevin it wasn’t
those!  Oh wait we forgot to give a HooYah! Out to Kevin our latest AIR
subscriber.  Thank you to Kevin I was beginning to feel closer to my
feminine side.  Welcome Kevin!  So anyway, favorite Dolly moment was her
statement to KL, “I think her Momma is going to be real proud of her
singing.”  Bwahaha! Classic.

Here we go…First, we need to pause for a moment of silence for the little
girl who was lost in Salt Lake City featured across Idol last night.  They
found her this morning unfortunately and are questioning 5 men in her
possible homicide (at press time – which pretty much ran all day as you can
tell).  Our hearts and prayers go out to her family at this time.

…
…
…

That was kind of a downer and I mean it with all due respect.  I don’t mean
to bring any disrespect to the situation.

…
…
…

Nice intro by Ryan with the April Fools Joke.  Totally lame.  I could almost
hear the crickets chirping.  And you all thought I tell bad jokes?  He
actually had my wife audibly say “Uh?”  Simon had some very intriguing
things to say, Paula her usual flim flam self and Randy the big dog…well
he was typical Randy.  Rather than bore you with restating what the 3-some
said, I work some of my own magic.

Let’s get to it… First one out… Brooke!  Now come awn – if you don’t
like her voice you have something wrong with you.  She is definitely
buyable!  Is she polished? No, but she is a workable talent and I think she
is two words,  phe-nomenal.  She is still the best female vocalist – however
last night I made the submission that I think she will have a hard time
stopping the Boy momentum that is Michael, and the 2 Davids.  4th I think.
Wasn’t her best.  She needs to quit being so eager to please the judges.

Speaking of a David.  I have to tell you that I love David Archuleta.  His
mannerisms totally remind me of my #2 son Ethan.  The way he smiles, his
lips, his giggles even his facial expressions.  So when anyone on the
internet bashes him as they do, I have a hard time separating David and my
Ethan.  Silly huh?  Ok so David freakin kicked trash.  He spanked it really
good.  I think Dolly said he can be a fantastic singer.  Go David Go!  He
didn’t lick his lips at all.  I am wondering if he is secretly getting my
AIR forwarded to him.  Hehe

Carly provided the funniest moment of the show to me last night, thanks to
Simon Cowell.  I cannot believe how he destroyed her clothes.  Amazingly
funny.  You have to admit that she doesn’t look like real ‘nice’.  I know I
know before I go sticking my foot in my yapper, “No that dress does not make
you look fat” should be answer.  But your face does!  Hahaha  Awesome.  I
predict that America is a little tired of Carly and she will find herself in
the bottom 3 tonight.

David Cook.  Congratulations!  Your haircut makes you about 1 gozillion
times easier to look at.  The ’skull’ continues to blow (trademarked).  I
regretfully admit that he is the one to beat right now.  Not that I don’t
think he is deserving, don’t get me wrong, he is.  Did he shave the little
flava save thing too?  Did anyone notice?  It is a good year to be named
David I think.  He later had heart palpitations and went to a hospital for
stress?  Serious.

Ramielle – I said it once I said it twice I said it thrice…all outta
‘cute’.  She is in Simon’s words – ‘forgettable’ – Sorry.  She doesn’t have
what it takes to be a star.  Shes cute but – this aint no cute contest.  And
if it were, then I am just going to guess that Amanda Overmeyer would have
had about a snowballs chance in hell of making the top 12…. hundred!
Cute maybe in the Papa Don’t Preach Madonna video in the 80’s but not Idol -
lands her in the bottom 3.

Jason…I don’t know how to describe my feelings for him.  My wife likes
him.  But let me put that into a little perspective…She liked Ace a couple
of years ago too.  And after ‘Father Figure’ I just couldn’t figure (get
it?) him out at all.  Jason nailed ‘Hallelujah’ but hasn’t really climbed
out of the Predator Travolta Mall singer that I see every time he takes the
mic.

Kristy Lee – ok so she squeeked by to Country week and yeah I am going
against my usual weekly rant of hatred towards her.  It was her week and she
will comfortably not be in the bottom 3…yet again.  She got extremely
lucky this wasn’t a U2 song week.  I hope her Momma was proud of the way she
sang.  Crap… I just realized that I have to hear her ..again next week.
Kristy enjoy your Top 8 finish.

Syesha – She completes the trifecta this week.  Triple Chick night in the
bottom 3 stools.  If there is one thing that I have learned by watching this
show religiously for the last 3 years, it is this:  Don’t ATTEMPT to sing a
song sung by these 3 divas….Mariah Carey, Celine Dion or Whitney Houston.
And if you do, you must be stupid stupid stupid. (Extra treat for the 1st
subscriber who figures that movie line out)

Michael – I am going to pat myself on the back a little for this nugget of
wisdom.  This guy has comfortably and sneakily flown under the radar and is
now peaking.  This will push him to the final 3.  Very smart of Michael to
hang back a little and get better and better.  You know what I am talking
about… Save some in the tank for an Unforgettable performance late in the
show.  Of course if you are KL Cook – you don’t have any left in that tank.
Sorry I couldn’t resist.

Parting words and thoughts.  Syesha, Ramielle and Carly – with Syesha biting
the bullet tonight.  The reason I say this is that Ramielle hasn’t even been
in the lower 3 once this year.  Her first appearance can’t possibly be her
ONLY can’t it?  Crazy year with vote-offs though so anything could happen.
Here is something to think about, when a contestant is nuked – the very next
week, where do the people who voted for them go?  What is the vote
distribution?  In case you missed last week, Chikezie was voted off.  So
where do his voters lean?  In you think I’m crazy, just noodle this.  2
weeks ago, Carly is in the bottom 2.  The next week after Amanda Overmeyer
got voted off, I predict that all of the rocker tat laden teens switched
their votes from Amanda to Carly thus preventing her from a return to the
bottom 3 last week.  Just did some thinkin…and yeah it hurt. 

I am freakin 0-3 in predictions so don’t worry when Syesha isn’t the one to
say gbye tonight.

In the immortal words of the Terminator….. “I’ll be back!”

AIR Edition #1

Andy’s Idol Recap….Final 12 style

Big Stage…Big Hype…Big Deal???

Last night was an interesting twist for all us idolers.  Real tough to cover
a Beatles song though.  For the most part the faves were… Just Aiiight.
Some were disappointing, some performances were expected, but the biggest
shock of the night can be summed up in one word…. CHIKEZE!!!  That dude
threw it down!
Let’s get down to the nitty gritty…Who is this Encarnacion?  Oops
movie line…hehe (Nacho Libre).  I saw the individual performances like this:

Syesha – She is..just easy to look at.  Pretty girl, intriguing, beautiful
smile and a very good interview.  Her voice is big but last night’s spin
left a lot to be desired.  It was not stellar.  She will have to do better
than that.  Prediction: I still think she will be Top 6-8.

Chikeze – Like I said – I think he even surprised himself.  He sang like he
had nothing to lose and …well he had everything to lose because he was all
but voted out last week.  Figured to be the first to go out of the 12, but
with last night’s throwdown – he ..AIN’T.  Prediction:  I think he is toast
in the next 2-3 weeks.  He’s safe tonight though.

Ramielle – I won’t lie…her cuteness is running out of steam.  Paris was
cuter and she could sing…it gets old fast.  I seriously thought she was
going to fall down the stairs, did anyone else?  Prediction:  She is in
trouble with last nights performance, lucky for her – there was one
performance WORSE than hers.

Jason – K, the interviews are pretty bad.  Yeah, yeah he is just’being him’
but they don’t do him a service.  He rocked last week, but was just ‘eh’
this one.  He’s safe, but his little “oops faces” that he makes while
singing may get a little old – quickly.  Prediction:  He’s going to be
around awhile, top 5-6 thinks I.

Carly – I have to admit that I am not a huge Carly fan.  I lover her Irish
accent but I am so distracted by that snake thing crawling up her arm.  She
definitely can sing.  I think she is my Melinda Doolittle of this season.
Shes good – but I don’t want her to win.   Prediction: Top 1-4 though.

David C. – The ‘real rocker’.  Gosh David I hate your hair but I respect
your pipes man.  He is not so much a darkhorse Paula, and I think he
benefits from the genre who loved Daughtry and are still suffering over his
loss a few seasons ago.  Simon said it best – if this was a talent contest
he has a great chance to win.  But we all know its not…hehe  Prediction:
Gonna say Top 1-4.

Amanda – Ohhhh please not another night of Elvira!!! Halloween is so far
away.  “Are you experiencing any shortness of breath?”.  I think I’d rather
have breathing problems than have her come to my home and scare me.  “Trick
or Treat!  Need a respirator?”  Loved her pants though!  But she is yucky.
I think she will be fine for a few weeks as she isn’t worst singer left in
the competition.  Gone in 2-4 weeks.

David H.  Male Stripper, not a problem, but to male clientele?  EWWWWW!!!
His performance was ghastly.  That’s my favorite Simon word.  Ghastly!
Poor Kid – I guess Pizza Bistro Tips aren’t as good as he thought they
should be.  Prediction: 8th place is his best hope.

Brooke – Ok ok – she needs to put away the hanky.  She was great last night.
She needs a little more confidence and I hope that comes with each week a
little more.  She has a fantastic voice – good enough to place her Top 1-4.
Obviously I like her, can you tell?

Michael – He has been playing it way too safe to even stick out.  Maybe this
is smarter than we all know.  One of these weeks he will either Bust out or
get tossed because he just doesn’t show it all.  I still think he is good
enough to make it to the Top 4-6.

Kristy – Um…Buh Bye!  Kristy the end of the road has come for you.  You
sang horribly, your pants were atrocious, you are a dime a dozen and its
time for you to hear the songs, You’ve had a Bad Day, You’re going home!
Don’t let the doorknob hit ya where the good Lord split ya.

David A – You are lucky that this was not a performance that you needed
towards the end of the show.  It was completely subpar – even for the Top
12.  If you had done that earlier – you would have gone home in a plastic
Glad garbage bag.  You survive though because you have been great.  Find it
again kid.  Forgetting lyrics gets people sent home from Hollywood week.
Booooo.  Prediction:  he will find it – and will make the Top 1-4.

That’s it for me…In the immortal words of Kip Dynamite….”Peace Out”

AIR Edition #3

Welcome to our newest subscriber, Everyone give a Shout Out to Michelle -
HooWah!!  The AIR is getting traction!  Yeah!

Ok, ok, Here we go with another steamy edition – ok so its not steamy but I
had to think of an attention getter.  Lame I know.

So the Idolers are supposed to sing a song from the year they were born
right?  How many of you tried to think of a song from the year you were
born?  Yeah I knew it.  If you were like me, you thought “Oh my what the
heck song was popular in the year ****?”  Yeah I didn’t fill in the year
because some of my subscribers might not readily admit to their age. Snicker
snicker.

I was born in 1969 – Neil Armstrong walked on the moon.  Yeah a long time
ago – they did have music though and the song I would have chosen is, drum
roll please….. Rat tat tat tat:  ‘I Heard it Thru the Grapevine’ by Marvin
Gaye!  Either that or ‘Come Together’ by the Beatles.  Oh yeah that was the
last two idol weeks.  I just realized that my wife is right…I’m old. Oof!

So the first of these little tykes was born in 1987.  I GRADUATED in 1987!
And the music that was on the radio and me are like this! (two fingers)
Ok so… Awesome music right???  Snoozer!!!
1987 was the year of Guns N’ Roses’ “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” U2’s “With Or
Without You,” Depeche Mode’s “Strangelove,” INXS’s “Never Tear Us Apart,”
Terence Trent D’Arby’s “Wishing Well,” the Cure’s “Just Like Heaven,” George
Michael’s “Father Figure”…really, the list goes on and on. And on. But
instead, the contestants opted for songs by people like…Sting. Sting???

So the teeniest competitor, who by the way has really run out of ‘cute’, I
know I said that before but by golly its just not working anymore for her,
comes out on stage and re-sings Carly’s version of Heart’s version of ‘How Do I
Get You a Loan’.  Yeah I wrote Loan.  Blah blah blah.  The fact is, Ann
Wilson of Heart has about 120 extra pounds of lung power on her, compared to
the Polly Pocket-sized Ramielle.  It was horrible and should land her in the
bottom 3.

Next up comes the Predator.  Have you seen the Predator?  Its Jason Castro.
Happy Birthday to me.  Duh.  He is a sleepy one isn’t he?  I mean his
interview week in and week out, I feel like Danny Zuko is going to pop out
somewhere.  He should sing, “Stranded at the drive-in…” Haha.  His
performances have been weak lately.  I think he is secure though.

Syesha wore a little more clothing tonight and she decided to poof her hair up
though.  The only way she pulls it off is that her face is very pretty,
otherwise I would market her to the Brillo pad executives!  She was by far,
in my humble opinion, the best female vocal of the evening.  There was
nothing the judges could demean about her stellar performance.  She wailed!

A grown up bigger version of Gary Coleman – aka Chikezie, decided to pull away
from his hippity hoppity acts to a ballad.  Bad choice.  He needs to be
movin all over the stage and belting out the lyrics.  Not standing still.

The judges didn’t like his song and neither did I.  He did himself no favors

tonight and will find himself back into the bottom 3.

You know, when I think about it, it is not his fault but the american public already voted

(and this is not racist at all) a big black guy to win in Season 2.

I think that may be to his detriment as he is going to be compared to Rubie.

Brooke baby.  Ok so she stomped the Beatles song last week, claimed to be
going back to her ‘element’, was chided by Randy to not incorporate the band
with her performance so she does and then Randy says – “Yo Dog, you shoulda
gone solo and not had the band.”  What gives?  She is still safe – but needs
to be able to find her niche.  After the last 2 weeks of a ‘David’ just
blowing it away – is playing for 3rd or 4th place.  She is by far the best I
have ever seen in accepting criticism.  Go Brooke – her voice is my
favorite.  I’d buy her album.

Michael Michael Michael – as you were singing I leaned over to my sweetheart
and said, “This is what I have been waiting to hear out of this bloke!”  Ok
so I didn’t say ‘Bloke’, but he finally showed what he is capable of.  I think
he has been tremendously smart and not peaked early.  If you have watched
the show over the past 3 years.  The Peak Early peeps aren’t holding their
own at the end, because the audience has been there done that mentality.
The early front runners flame out at 4-5-6. (See: Melinda No neck Dolittle)

Carly – I thought she would be voted for a lot more than she is getting.  She found
herself in the bottom 3 and I have to believe that people don’t like her
“she had a record contract vibe”.  I thought last week’s Blackbird was a lot
better than voters gave her credit for but this week’s Bonnie Tyler (I had
to look that up Sarah) Total Eclipse of the Sun (Heart) was not good.  I think the
trendy pick has her in the bottom 3 this week, but I can’t, I won’t, I just
have to go with my favorite bottom 3-er even if I am dead wrong!

David – sad that singing a song that the judges didn’t know could land him
in heat.  Come awn Simon, you are an idiot and you have never been to an
amusement park with Animated creatures!  It was a tough song to sing and he
did extremely well.  There was nothing to bash him on.  But he did.  I think
that he may be posturing David for an under the radar buzz for a couple of weeks
journey only to pull him out at the 6-7 to go range and then tout him as one
of the finalists.  (See: Michael Johns)

Kristy Lee… I am not even going to bash you – just go home!

Ok I have to say that she chose that song just to draw the ‘military
concerned’ vote.  So, keeping tally here, she already has the country vote and now she cashes in on the military and pro american vote.  I have heard that flipping song done so
many times at 4th of July celebrations in the huge metropolis of Kanab, Utah
since I was 9.  BLECK!  Just get on with it America – Vote her out! O-U-T!

Finally…”the skull”  That boy has a huge cranium!  Its like sputnik.  Its
got its own weather system!  Its a virtual planetoid” (So I Married an Axe Murderer….ok enough already.
I still do NOT like his hair but the guy has really shone and has WON the
last three weeks – hands down.  He may have the problem of Chris Daughtry of
years passed – loved by all quickly and then same ole same ole and might
lose because everyone knows that he is safe.  I still think Top 1-2 or 3 the
worst.

So to wrap…. Ramielle, Chikezie and Kristy Lee will find themselves on the
stage.  Ramielle may go but I think – and I want WANT WANT KRISTY to.

In the immortal words of Forrest Gump…. “And that’s all I have to say
about that.”

AIR Edition #2

Greetings Loyal AIR subscribers!

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to predict who is ‘biting the bazota’
tonight does it? So should we really recap last nights perfomances? SURE
we should. (Ok now for my disclaimer) – I have TiVo and am not watching The
Idol Boot Show until after my kids are counting sleepy sheep. So on to the
fun!

Kicking off the show last night was Amanda Overmeyer. I’ll be honest I
thought her name was O’B'ermeyer up until last nights episode. hehe.
Amanda the respirating vampiress continues to destroy each song she bellows.
Lucky for her and her Harley – she won’t be riding it any time soon as there
are still 2 worse contestants than her raspy rockin bluesy voice. She did
own the quote of the night though… “When people come to my show, they will
know that this chick rocks!” Bwahaha! Niiice

David Archuleta climbed out of the mess he made and scorched his number. I
think he showed that he is a total contender for the title. Does anyone
else notice how often he licks his lips while he sings? Now you will. hehe
I want to see him with a fast song, move a little more. He sure hits well
with the teeny bops doesn’t he? I will maintain that David will be Top 3
and Im sticking to it.

Brooke…Brooke…Brooke… All too eager to agree with the judges last
night. Oh my. Ok she completely showed that she can’t dance. If it is
required – she would be in serious trouble. Her vulnerability though made
her lovable again. She didn’t look as bad as the Hairy chested Brit said in
that yellow dress, but she needs to climb back into her comfy spot. Still
Top 2 of the girls and Final Four for her.

Michael – I keep saying this and saying this – he ain’t busting out yet. He
needs to lay it down or he is going to be just plain down…under. (thank
you)
He continues to be the safe guy – but I think he is just not that capable.
I think his cute accent will take him to top 5 though.

Carly – Still hating the snake thing on her arm, oh and it was so precious
to see 2 new Tats on her already plagued body. How many numbers can she get
on her fingers? You go Girl! I hope that we keep her around and see what
body part she tatoos next! And did anybody see that totally creepy guy in
the audience (Carly’s hubby)? Didn’t he shoot some guy and escape from jail only to be
caught in Arbys in Utah about 3 months ago??? Ugh – Top 2 girls Top 4. Her
forehead scrunches bother me.

Chikezie – The soul cat that blows! The harmonica was really not that great
of an idea. The last harmonica player I think is playing hapy hour at the 4
seasons restaurant in Jackson Mississippi by now. wink wink. Go Taylor! He is safe
this week but he will find himself on the stage in the lower 3.

Kristy Lee – Do I really need to say it? She is an artifical intelligence.
Domo Arigato – Mr Roboto… Domo… She has as much personality as a
frisbee. Owns the #2 best comment of the night though. “You know I will
blow your socks off!” Haha – ok sure Kristy I bet you will. Bleck! Buh
bye! Wheres the vinegar bottle???

David Cook – Um, can’t we get his hair fixed? The voice box thing was
bizarre and he should have been blasted for using it. I thought he was
going to say that Kurt Bestor loaned it to him. “Can you hear….the
prayers of the children…” You can just see the judges posturing him for a
Final four showdown with Brooke, Carly, David A.

Syesha – Ok sorry I know this is a female audience here – my posse, but did
you see her ….yeah those ??? I had no idea that she was that big – and
there they were. Boing! Even Sarah said Oh my gosh. I did like her hair
bettah tho. It was a stray from the Buckwheat look from last week. She was here
and there, but she did well. I think she is not in the bottom 3 this week.
but not too far from it.

Ramielle. That hat belongs back on that flamy kid from the 8th grade. You
know the one I’m talking about don’t you? The one who decided that his
nickname should be Ducky after watching Pretty in Pink? Not a party
hat! She is all out of cute. I think she is in the bottom of the 3 with
Chikeze and Kristy Lee.

Who did I forget? Oh yeah John Travolta with dreadlocks! Jason “oops did I
miss that note” Castro. He is flying under the radar on his “Isn’t he
adorable” face. Voulez Vous couchez avec NOT with moi Jason? I think his Frenchy
imitation was pretty bad. He’s safe though – middle tier – not really doin
it for me though.

Ok thats a wrap… I am going to go color easter eggs with my little idols.
I am sure that they will text my # in tonight. I am a great egg decorator.

Enjoy the show – and long live Kip Dynamite….

In the even more immortal words, “Thass what I’m talking about”